WFD

(A.P.) Healdsburg Ca.
The world's fastest dentist (WFD) was spotted simultaneously on top of Haleakela, climbing Pine Flat road, doing leg presses at his local gym and performing a root canal. Sources say that 47 year old Roger Bartels has the ability to be in more than one place at a time. Local friend and training partner Glenn Fant says, "he's the only guy I know who can work and 8 hour day, do two workouts at the gym, do hill repeats on Pine Flat and lead the local Scouts on full moon vision quest in a 24hr period." It true that "Rocket Rog" takes great pleasure in ripping the legs off his buddies, enjoys is espresso black and has mixed feelings about shaving his legs. Many have wondered what it is that makes him tick. Whatever the power source it certainly isn't windup! And if he indeed has the ability to travel through space and time (some say he sleeps on the moon rather than an altitude tent) is this fair? "Sure", says long time riding partner George Hope, "There's nothing in the UCI or SCCB (Sonoma County Cyclist Bible) that prohibits time traveling. I just wish I knew where platform 9 3/4 was". You may not recognize last years winner (two years in a row) at the GH this year. Rather than the traditional silver and black of Gianni, he has jumped ship. Ramjet will look more like Captain America than Kenny Stabler. Leo's MySpace page says that he's being paid a six figure salary to ride for NorCal and will receive bonus pay if he doesn't get lost this year on the Bear Valley Grasshopper.